📉ADHD Executive Coach Seth Perler shared that the high school students he works with start to dip in performance 6-8 weeks into the semester.

🏊🏻‍♂‍Things fall apart. Now they having to swim upstream to catch up and turn in missing assignments.

🏈Then they are doing a "hail mary" in the final two weeks making up work and preparing for final exams. Exhausting!

🤷🏾‍♂‍Does this sound familiar? If so, would a different academic calendar be better for you to consider? If you take one course in three weeks or 2 in ten, would that improve retention and increase your GPA?

If you haven't considered the impact of the academic calendar, that should be a question to ask college representatives.

🧠In the comments below, which academic calendar would you prefer in college?

Semester (15 wks) - Offered in 90% of college settings. Most are traditional 14-15 week term while some use block terms of 3 1/2 weeks. Block terms are ideal for students needing to focus on one course at a time. It's intense. Then it's done!

Trimester (11-13 wks) - Some colleges are set up with trimesters. On one hand, you could possibly graduate faster; on the other, it's more challenging if wanting to change majors.

Quarter (10 wks plus summer) - Colleges with quarter academic calendars are beneficial for students transferring after a few weeks into the semester. If your college setting is harder than you imagined or your family needs you closer to home, you would stay on target attending a college with this type of system.

4-1-4 (4 mo + 1 mo + 4 mo) - This means you'd take a 4 week, "mini-mester" in January instead of having an extended winter break. Colleges with a 4-4-1 will offer a "Maymester."

I am sharing a series of seven thoughts from the Making Caring Common (MCC) report, “Turning the Tide II” that addresses character in college admissions. This is specifically for parents. If you have any questions for Glenn Manning, Senior Project Manager for MCC, let me know and I’ll ask!

As a recap here are the first four points:

[1] Keep the focus on your teen.

“In an effort to give their kids everything, these parents often end up robbing them of what counts.”

[2] Follow your ethical GPS.

“The college admissions process often tests both parents’ and teens’ ethical character.”

​[3] Use the admissions process as an opportunity for ethical education.

Students may “struggle with how much they can embellish their applications and ‘play the game’ without compromising their own authenticity and integrity.”

[4] Be authentic.

“Many parents fail to have authentic, honest conversations with their teens during the college admissions process and send conflicting messages.”

[5] Encourage your teen to contribute to others in meaningful ways.

Serve. Volunteer. Donate. Charity. Handout. Gift. Offering. Community Service.

There are many ways to contribute and guide our teenagers to impact others.

Remind them that they were “created in Christ Jesus to do good works” (Ephesians 2:10).

The authors write that “what makes service valuable is not whether it involves a trip to a new country or launching a new project. It's also not what matters to admissions deans.”

Does your student’s contribution bring value to others? No, this not the same as the number five value meal at your favorite drive-thru.
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“What makes service meaningful and what matters to the deans is whether service is chosen based on authentic interest and is immersive, meaningful, and sustained.”

Paul exhorted the Christians in Ephesus to “serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people” (Ephesians 6:7).

Community service is not just for college admissions.

"You should do good to everyone. Be rich in good deeds" (1 Timothy 6:18).

Students who can identify their unique purpose can participate in ways that align with their selected career path. Having internships, volunteer work, and even part-time work that supports their intended major makes it easier for college admissions officials to accept those students.

Allowing them to feed the homeless, clean a hiking trail, play dominos with the elderly, read to children, or something else in your community while in middle school, gives them the opportunity to find one or two ways to continue this throughout high school.

Exotic experiences, mission trip vacations, or one-time service projects do not build character. They build images for social media posts.  

Do not try to one up another student’s project so your admission essay has extra flair. Use your spiritual gifts and special skills to serve others. Peter wrote, “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms” (1 Peter 4:10).

Consider the Michigan junior who organized monthly birthday parties for foster youth. As the leader, he connected with people to provide presents, cake or cupcakes, and the location. He was adding value to the lives of these students. He used his giftedness and skills. He developed a consistent, quality program.

The MCC team offers four conversations parents can have with their teenager:

1. Talk about your family’s moral anchor. Talk to your teen about why your family believes contributions to others are important, whether your views are rooted in religious beliefs, a commitment to equity and justice, or a family ethic that prioritizes our inherent responsibility to help those who are struggling.
2. Find out what’s meaningful to your teen. Take time to explore with your teen what kind of service or contribution to others is meaningful to them. Prompt your teen to think about many types of service and many ways of contributing to others.
3. Emphasize the value of “doing with” rather than “doing for.” Too often, service can be unintentionally patronizing to recipients and does not develop in students a rich understanding of other perspectives or other cultures. You might explore with your teen opportunities for them to work in well-facilitated groups with other teens—either online or in person—from diverse backgrounds on common problems, such as bullying or harassment at school, an environmental problem, or an unsafe park.
4. Help your teen reflect on their experiences with service. Talk to your teen about their experiences when engaging in these activities. What are they learning? Are they finding their work gratifying? Do they feel helpful? What kinds of challenges are they facing? Brainstorm with your teen ways they might overcome obstacles.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9).

What are some meaningful ways your teenager is contributing to your community?

I am sharing a series of seven thoughts from the Making Caring Common (MCC) report, “Turning the Tide II” that addresses character in college admissions. This is specifically for parents. If you have any questions for Glenn Manning, Senior Project Manager for MCC, let me know and I’ll ask!

[1] Keep the focus on your teen.

“In an effort to give their kids everything, these parents often end up robbing them of what counts.”

[2] Follow your ethical GPS.

“The college admissions process often tests both parents’ and teens’ ethical character.”

[3] Use the admissions process as an opportunity for ethical education.

Students may “struggle with how much they can embellish their applications and ‘play the game’ without compromising their own authenticity and integrity.”

[4] Be authentic.

When you are craving chicken tinga enchiladas with sour cream sauce in Texas, you have to decide between Tex-Mex and authentic Mexican food. There are a handful of differences.

Tex-Mex uses sweet corn, authentic Mexican uses whole cobs.

Tex-Mex uses yellow cheese, authentic Mexican uses white cheese.

Tex-Mex uses cumin in spicy dishes, authentic Mexican uses epazote and coriander, among others.

Being authentic means you are being genuine. There is no doubt about the accuracy of your claims.

The Bible teaches us to "be honest and speak the truth" (Proverbs 22:21).

Even as students are applying to colleges without having to submit test scores, a few are adding ingredients to their applications that are not authentic. It is also called exaggeration.

We must remember that “whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out” (Proverbs 10:9).

It is challenging for students to be real and authentic in a social media world.

It is up to us as parents to have “authentic, honest conversations with [our] teens during the college admissions process.”

However, we send mixed messages when we want them to be happy or attend the best college they can when we’ve already made a decision based on our budget.

The Making Caring Common authors share that parents should try to “understand the many school and community factors that may be influencing their teen’s college considerations so that they can talk to their teens in ways that acknowledge these realities.”

These are tough conversations.

Here are two tips. [1] During your family walk tonight or around dessert, ask your teen if you are sending mixed messages. Then find out what they are feeling about the messages at school and from colleges.

[2] Discuss your feelings. College planning is EMOTIONAL! Don’t let yours get in the way of theirs. Since they have to own the decision, they need to be confident.

Simon Sinek said, “Authenticity is when you say and do the things you actually believe.”

Together, let’s work on our authenticity.  

I am sharing a series of seven thoughts from the Making Caring Common report, “Turning the Tide II” that addresses character in college admissions. This is specifically for parents.

As a recap, here are the first two lessons:

[1] Keep the focus on your teen.

“In an effort to give their kids everything, these parents often end up robbing them of what counts.”

[2] Follow your ethical GPS.

“The college admissions process often tests both parents’ and teens’ ethical character.”

[3] Use the admissions process as an opportunity for ethical education.

The college admissions process is the same for everyone.

The college admissions process is different for everyone.

Unfortunately, both statements are true. When applying for college, students are made aware that “there are vast differences in access to resources in the admissions process, and that college is unaffordable for staggering numbers of families.”

The Turning the Tide II authors point out that this where students may “struggle with how much they can embellish their applications and ‘play the game’ without compromising their own authenticity and integrity.”

One of the challenges students face is standardized testing. As FairTest.org summarizes in a report, “young people of color, particularly those from low-income families have suffered the most.”

Students from low-income families have lower scores because they lack the support and/or resources to prepare for the tests.

Boys are affected more than girls.

Students of color score lower on the admissions tests. This prevents them from being considered for merit aid scholarships (which rely on test scores more than GPA).

This has not always been the case. “Standardized” tests were created to make the college admissions process fair for all students.

Enter the coronavirus.

Since the testing sites are not able to host students or are booked because of local social distancing regulations, most colleges (public and private) decided to be test-optional for 1-3 years.

Advantage: everyone!

And many of those same schools are test-optional for merit aid scholarships as well. This means the high school GPA has more weight on admissions and scholarship decisions.

We are hoping this testing reprieve will challenge higher education to create a better, equitable college admissions process.

Parents, we have an awesome opportunity to help our teenager(s) navigate the ethics of education.

They need to be kind, be fair, be true to themselves, remain above reproach, and be prepared to support all claims made on their essays, tests, extracurriculars, and college applications.

What are we doing to help them develop character that lasts?

I’m sharing a series of seven thoughts from the Making Caring Common report, “Turning the Tide II” that addresses character in college admissions. This is specifically for parents.

​[1] Keep the focus on your teen.

“In an effort to give their kids everything, these parents often end up robbing them of what counts.”

[2] Follow your ethical GPS.

My father-in-law, a career navigator with the Air Force, learned how to navigate his plane using the stars. The stars!

When earning the orienteering merit badge in the Boy Scouts, I learned how to read a map using a compass.

Today, we ask our smartphone to pull up a map app. And if we have enough battery power and activate the location feature, our phone uses GPS satellites, Wi-Fi, and mobile networks to estimate our location.

Without using the stars, a compass, or GPS, how are you navigating your teenager(s) through the college admissions process? You don’t have to estimate where your ethics are located. I find it interesting how choosing a college can lead parents and teenagers to ignore their moral compass.

Sometimes, that is what pressure produces.

“The college admissions process often tests both parents’ and teens’ ethical character.”

That statement was written before the 2019 Varsity Blues Scandal – where high profile personalities had been falsifying applications and paying to get in “back door” of certain colleges. They drifted from true north. (Read more about Desperate College Admissions here.)

The participants tarnished their name. We understand that “a good name is to be more desired than great riches, favor is better than silver and gold” (Proverbs 22:1) but we don’t always follow through.

As you know, inflating resumes and including activities or awards to give our “child an edge in admissions” is unethical and undermines the role and goal of parenting. We need to remain consistent with our ethics and integrity.

And we should always be checking what our children are reflecting. Proverbs 20:7 reads that “a righteous man who walks in his integrity—how blessed are his sons after him.”

Unfortunately, the easiest way parents can interfere is through the essay process. Writing essays changes the voice from theirs to yours.

Fortunately, essay readers know when the voice of an essay does not match the voice of the students’ application and high school grades. They know when a parent or professional essay writer has written the essay. And some use software programs to identify plagiarism.

The authors write that parents should be willing to ask themselves “hard, fundamental questions about who [they] want to be and what [they] want to model for [their] children.”
 
So parents, are we willing to compromise our integrity for our kids admission into college?

We cannot afford what that would cost.

Last week I wrote about why character counts because the coronavirus has prompted a change in how applications are being considered.

In a recent Zoom meeting, Temple University shared that they are thinking about how they can extract characteristics like “citizenship, social justice, or tenacity” and admit students that exhibit those traits.

Swarthmore College has been looking for students with “intellectual curiosity, creativity, generosity and problem-solving skills.” For years, they’ve struggled with how to measure those traits in an application.

As we move forward into the new admissions cycle, it may be easier for a college to deny admissions if they see evidence that is contrary to the character they desire in their students. More on that later.

On August 24 it was reported that over 100 admitted freshmen had their admissions rescinded from Northeastern University (Boston) because they posted their intent to gather on campus against NU’s coronavirus guidelines.

Colleges are serious!

Over the next few weeks, I’m sharing a series of seven thoughts from the Making Caring Common report, “Turning the Tide II,” that addresses character in college admissions. This is specifically for parents.

[1] Keep the focus on your teen.

The “college admissions process is a key rite of passage in adolescence and can be a wonderful opportunity for parents to get to know their teen in a deeper way. It’s also an important opportunity for parents to model the empathy in their relationship with their teen that is key to their teen’s relationships.”

We love our teenager(s) and want the best for them. As I am learning as a newly adoptive father of a sixteen-year-old, we want to fight for them. In my experience as a youth pastor and educational consultant, I’ve observed that too often, parents want the best for their teenagers based on what THEY perceive is the best. They adjust the focus on opportunities THEY missed out on when they were a teenager.

“In an effort to give their kids everything, these parents often end up robbing them of what counts.”

Since you are not going to be in the classroom or on the campus, use your past to teach and lead the discussion. Remembering that your children are uniquely made (Psalm 139:13-14), help them discover what problems they want to solve, and which career and college will prepare them for that task.

The focus should be on your teenager.

Preparing your teenager to make long-term decisions a part of the college decision process.

Your involvement is important to them.
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Really, it is.

Sometimes parents, we just need to “pause and listen.”

What adjustments do you need to make so your college-bound “baby” takes personal responsibility for their career and college decisions?

Character.

The mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual.

The group of qualities that make a person, group, or thing different from others.
Who you are when no one is watching.

Each of the above sentences define character. Developing your character matters because it is becoming a part of the college admissions process.

As the high school senior class of 2021 begins to write character-based essays for their college applications, underclassmen should continue working on their character. This is more than a 280-character post or a 500-word essay. Who you are is the one character that counts.

Character is developed through everything you do (shovel, build, read, serve, mow, watch…) and every person (parents, coaches, teachers, telemarketers, janitors, CEOs…) you communicate with (post, debate, lead, email, phone…).

Character is developed through your online and offline interactions.

Character is developed through your setbacks, struggles, and suffering because “suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope” (Romans 5:3-4).

UCLA Basketball coach John Wooden said, “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”

So, what are you? Who are you?

The Making Caring Common project, endorsed by over 50 college admissions deans, is seeking to “elevate ethical character, especially concern for others and the common good.”

Doing the right thing is not about building your reputation or résumé. Colleges are working to help potential students change their expectations from “look at what I’ve done” to “look at who I am.” You can’t develop character while you are applying for college. Essay readers will see a fraud within the first paragraph. You begin developing character when you are born, as you listen to the caring adults in your life, and as you apply what they teach you.

MIT Admissions Dean Stuart Schmill said that colleges are working hard to admit students who lead balanced lives, pursue interests with passion, and work with others. They are trying to move away from admitting students who are just checking the boxes.

Your application or resume introduces you to the reader. Think of it as a preview of the real you. In some colleges, two or more admissions officers independently review your application before sitting down to discuss it together.

Some colleges require students to interview with an alumni or admissions officer. They want to know if your application matches who you say you are. Let’s take it one step further. Would your academics, conduct report, relationships, extracurricular activities, volunteer work, and essay reflect who you are if the admissions official invited you to dinner at her house?

Paul wrote that “bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33). Who you are will be impacted by the company you keep. So do you keep bad or good company. You reflect the values of those you hang around the most (online and offline) including Jesus Christ, your parents, youth leaders, YouTubers, TikToc’ers, teammates, and friends. Jesus said that “the tree is known by its fruit” with the tree representing each person (Matthew 12:33). “Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad.”

Jon Mertz describes character as something “engraved within us.” The engraving isn’t always planned and clean. The word “character” comes from the Greek kharakter that means “engraved mark.” The character trace goes back to another definition of “to scrape or scratch.” For Mertz, the combination of engrave, scrape, and scratch fit well with what character really means. Here’s why:

• Engrave is an active art of determining what builds our character – honesty, courage, etc.
• Scrape is learning from the challenges that come our way (or those we create) and then proving what we learned by doing much better than before.
• Scratch is the act of working our way back when we fall down and gaining strength of integrity from what we experience.

David Brooks, author of The Road to Character, writes about people of character. He shared how we can take “the bad things that happen and turn them into a transcendent purpose” like Dorothy Day. From Bayard Rustin, he teaches us the “power of leading with self-restraint.”

Could you be someone Brooks writes about? Are you becoming a person of character or just a character? As prepare your college applications are you sharing who you are or who you want them to believe you are?

Brooks posed this question during his TedTalk, “Am I living for my résumé or my eulogy?”

Let me bring this home. Are you living your life to build your college application or are you living your life to build your character in the image of Jesus Christ?

Parents, some of you or your friends may still be concerned about your student heading to college. Many of my friends and relatives are currently helping their sons and daughters settle into their dorms.
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But what will they do during the semester? What is their college doing to prepare for the coronavirus? While many are banning parties and gatherings off and on campus, it’s going to be hard for students to stay away from each other.

My 12-year-old wants to “just watch” the basketball games being played at the school near our house. We’ve repeatedly told him no because none of the players are wearing masks.

Even for our responsible young adults, it’s going to be a challenge.

The Chronicle of Higher Education recently reported the following (July 27, 2020):
“If you walk around the neighborhood of Ames, Iowa, across the street from Iowa State University, one thing is obvious: No one is wearing a mask. The state doesn't have a mask mandate, so customers in shops or restaurants can't be forced to wear them indoors. Next month, though the City of Ames could welcome some 31,000 students and researchers.”
This is a much different situation that I haven’t considered. If your student is heading to a part of the country that does not have mask mandates, what will they do? Have you discussed what action your son or daughter will take?

For example, if they attend ISU and don’t wear face coverings because it’s not required, will you allow them to return home without a 14-day self-quarantine? Where would they stay?
This is a decision not to be made lightly.

The New York Times reported (July 29, 2020) that there are 6,600 coronavirus cases linked to 270 colleges since the pandemic began. This could spike as students return to campus – even if in-person classes are at 50 percent capacity or meeting outdoors in tents. The NYT created an infographic that shows campuses with more than 50 cases down to at least 1 confirmed case.

I’ve discussed how athletes have been affected as they’ve returned to practice. But you also need to consider the health of the construction workers, food preparers, as well as the administration. We really need to care about how other people are feeling.

The colleges with the most confirmed coronavirus cases include University of Texas (449), University of Central Florida (438), University of Georgia (390), Texas A&M University (302), and University of Washington (249).

Colleges with at least 1 case related to a person who works at or attends the school include Florida State University, University of San Diego, Carnegie Mellon, North Dakota State University, and Grambling State University.

Even with the California State University moving all classes online for the fall, students need to take personal responsibility for their actions.

I’m sure you’ve already had these conversations about wearing masks in public. So what advice can you share with our community? I’d love to hear from students, parents, health care workers, and college administrators.

Let’s learn together.

The next few college admission cycles will look nothing like we’ve known because of so many fluid uncertainties. Since most colleges will pause, or completely stop, the test score requirements (SAT and/or ACT), what can you do to stand out?

Do extra.

If your sports or band season is delayed or cancelled because of the impact of the pandemic, are you going to take a "well-deserved" break? I hope not. Retirement is well-deserved, not a pause in competition. You need to be committed to put in the hard work. Jennifer Lopez said that "hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard”. During the off-season, work with a tutor to improve your talent (instrument, voice, coding, ballet...) or a trainer to create a routine that sets you apart from the rest-ers.

Do extra.

Without test scores and with grades being relatively equal, how should college admissions officers evaluate your application? It could be that extracurricular activities will set you apart from other applicants.

Do extra.

Wyatt Sloan, a former colleague at Ennova wrote that, “students who are right on the lower edge of the academic requirements may be able to tip the scales in their favor if their college application shows they were involved outside the classroom. For students who are seeking admission to a selective university, showing your willingness to engage in activities and go above and beyond can elevate you above students who did not participate in anything outside of their academic obligations. When two students have remarkably similar academic profiles, extracurricular activities might just be that make or break factor for an admissions officer.”

Do extra.

When it comes to extracurricular activities, it does not mean joining every club, meeting for an hour, and listing your attendance record on your application or resume. Doing extra does not mean being exhaustive or exhausted. It’s about “quality over quantity.” Taking a leadership position such as president, secretary, representative, treasurer, or team captain shows a commitment to quality. Being involved on a tennis team, scout troop, or youth group demonstrates to a college that you have the ability and skills to remain committed at the next level.

Do extra.

When you do extra, people notice. Going the extra mile doesn’t come with a digital ad announcing your sacrificial service. When Jesus was preaching on the mountain he said, “if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two” (Matthew 5:41, HCSB).” He was talking about doing extra.

​While you may be required to go one mile (carry a Roman soldiers backpack, carry a seniors tuba, do 50 burpees, paint living objects, or run five miles), you are not required to go the second mile. As a challenge to what was normal for the day, Jesus encouraged his followers to carry the backpack one more mile. Go the extra mile. Do extra because it’s the right thing to do. Serving others at church, in your neighborhood, or in the community because you care gets noticed.

So what are you going to “do extra” to stand out from everyone else?

Run an extra lap. Draw an extra character. Lift an extra rep. Push an extra up (or something like that).